“The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.”
My best friend........In the last few days I had a revealing conversation with my best friend.....so revealing actually that it kinda kept my entire mind busy ever since.....The topic of our revealing discussion was our friendship, the way we perceive each other, the way have related to each other lately.
There were some hurtful words thrown into the conversation, maybe even some painful truths that will probably be verified in a couple of years. The bottom line turned out to be the fact that we don't know each other like we used to, that we have both changed up to a point that we can't understand each other anymore.
Strangely, what I most took pride in our friendship was the fact that I still thought her to be that one person I could relate to without having to explain myself.....or even speak sometimes. And she was that person throughout most of the significant times in my life. We all have that someone that really listens when we speak, that remembers all the important things about us, that sees our true being behind all the masks we put on. And the simple fact we can be ourselves in her presence is most comforting and relieving.
Investing all your trust in such a valuable friendship is the least you can do. You really believe that no matter what life brings, no matter what changes might occur this friend is always going to be there by your side, because he's the one who's supposed to understand everything you're going through. This is the person who is the first to believe in you, the first you share your experiences with, the first to tell you the truth in every situation, and most important of all, this is the person that no matter what you do, supports you in your decisions, and does not judge you, even if there are times she doesn't agree with you.
As I see it this is the first thing the sets the foundation of a real friendship: trusting and accepting each other. And when these are gone, you can't hardly call that person your friend, little less your best friend.
Friendship has to stand some severe tests over time. A fragile friendship can easily fail tests such as time passing, living in different environments, different people that leave a significant mark in your life. It's natural to grow as a person, to sometimes loosen the ties that link you to your family, to the people you once knew, to the places you grew up in. You might lose some friends on the way as well, but you can always count on your best friend being there.
I strongly believed that. It might sound childish and very idealistic but I always thought I could leave a part of me with my best friend for safe keeping. That part of the "real me" who few people in my life actually get to know.
What I didn't expect was for that part to disintegrate in very small pieces that, as time goes by, get lost on the way.
Even though my best friend and I kept up with each other's lives, it seems it wasn't enough to keep our friendship alive. Because we got to that point where we look at each other and we see strangers. We started judging each other, questioning our life decisions. For several years now we seemed to have drifted apart, a little bit each day, not paying attention to what was happening.
We are different personalities, and we've always been that way. In all these 4 years, living in different environments shaped us in the persons we are today. Persons that are even more different than we initially were. But the beauty of our friendship consisted in the very fact that we accepted each other's different ways. We were never afraid or reluctant to be ourselves around each other. We also shared common views, but always accepted our differences.
Until now, apparently....
So I am standing now....asking myself if the very foundation of our friendship stands exclusively in the common things we shared and if that foundation is completely wrecked right now...And where is that point where we gave up understanding each other and started to make judgements?
Friendship is the most lasting relationship you can have with another human being. It lasts though time, and space, and other people in your life. And when you lose that you lose a part of yourself. A piece of you that you can never replace and that is priceless.
At this point I guess our friendship is somewhere in mid air......while we didn't talk things through.
I am still glad to have had such a best friend, a best friend that is so hard to say good bye to......
....even though she leaves my soul somehow cripled.....
Losing my best friend
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Ore : 7:47 PM
Ore : 7:47 PM
posted by Rada babe at 7:47 PM
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